Jokes about Vovochka. Toasts and table jokes for meeting with classmates School jokes at the meeting evening
Today is such a wonderful evening, one of the evenings that allows you to return to your school years and remember everything that was dear to us once, how well we spent carefree days, how wonderful and kind our teachers were. Let's raise a glass to the fact that there are such evenings of meetings and that we can see each other at least every 5 years!
I am immensely glad to see you all. I look and see the same childish and happy faces that I can call family. We lived a little life together. I remember those desks and the smell of ink, I remember the feeling of sticking gum and cigarette smoke in the toilet. What a wonderful time it was. I want to drink to all of you and wish you to at least sometimes remember those joyful moments.
Graduates, hello to you all,
We haven't seen each other for a long time,
And then fate brought us together again,
We are with you in this room!
My friends, I wish everyone
So that everyone's dreams come true,
I drink to the dregs for our meeting,
I wish everyone to smile!
Everyone says that school years are the happiest. And indeed it is. I will always happily remember how I ran to school, how I skipped classes, how I told my mother that I had a headache so as not to go to class. Now it seems like a child's game, something special, funny. Thanks to everyone who came to the alumni meeting!
It seems like just yesterday that we were sitting at our desks, disrupting lessons and coming up with nicknames for teachers. Of course, many have undergone dramatic changes in their families and lives, but having gathered here, we all feel like tomboyish schoolchildren. Let's drink to this wonderful tradition of meeting and to all of us who support it.
Getting an education is difficult: exams, strict teachers, and much more. But it’s even more difficult to get a life education: how to be friends, how to love, how to help out, how to keep secrets... So let’s raise our glasses in gratitude to each other for the wonderful years that taught us true friendship!
What wonderful school years, so many unforgettable moments! Thank you for giving us something to remember and miss. I want to raise a glass to the teachers who contributed a piece of themselves to our development. Thank you very much for everything!
Dear friends! Years later we all got together again. Everyone already has their own worries: family, children and work. But no one will forget about our second home - school. The time spent here is priceless for me. You are my second family. I remember these wonderful days with you with tears in my eyes. Let's drink to having more reasons to gather!
It seems that just recently we only got together at school desks. We were noisy, quarrelsome, sometimes rude and condescending. But we still had the main advantage - mutual assistance and support. I am very glad that after all this time we still have it. There is also free access to alcohol, so raise a glass to your true friends!
Let's drink to our warm meeting. We may not have seen each other for a long time, but we will chat with our classmates to our hearts’ content this evening. Let's remember children's pranks, first loves and teachers, share our achievements, show photographs of children.
School alumni meeting. Teacher:
- Well, how do you live, Vovochka? I remember how you couldn’t really answer a single question, you kept saying: “I don’t know” and “I don’t know.”
- And I say the same thing now. But then I add: “Find out and report.”
Alumni meeting. A former classmate who dropped out of college and disappeared for a long time, as it turned out, got a job in medical school. A friend, having learned about this, tries to make a move:
-You are a doctor, you can certainly cure me!
-*choking* Yura, damn it! I'm a future forensic scientist, do you really want me to treat you?!
Alumni meeting in 30 years. They practically bring
gray-haired Mary Ivanna, she looks at everyone, and through tears
rejoices:
- My dears, you are my favorite class in all the years, oh, look,
who has become who now, here is Mashenka Ivanova, the luminary of medicine, Vitenka
Petrov the diplomat, Semochka Shlemenzon the Doctor of Science, and even Vovochka, our
Vovochka, who sat at the back desk all school and doesn’t care
nothing was needed - and he became a general!
Vovochka, dressed in general's uniform, stands up from behind the last desk.
uniform and looks at everyone with a tipsy look: “AND I DON’T GIVE A FUCK RIGHT NOW
IT IS NECESSARY, BUT SO THAT EVERYTHING IS DONE BY MORNING!”
My son comes home from school and tells me. His classmate decided to make fun of him
over the English teacher:
- Do you know an English word that has three letters S in a row?
The teacher thought:
- No, I do not know.
- I know. Grassmoker!
After that, she gave him two bad marks and forced him to spend the entire lesson
in the corner.
Every first Saturday of February, well, everyone knows, there is a reunion of graduates.
This is the preface. Further situation, me and my friend stayed this Saturday
without other halves, since they also went to meetings accordingly.
Well, naturally, plans were brewing in my head, we’ll meet now, you’ll see
I had a martini with my classmates from elementary school and off I went. We rush with
with such thoughts along the avenue and then the traffic light is red, of course
they braked, and in front of them two girls were walking so slowly almost along the edge
the sidewalk and the back are such a wonderful view, well, just a sight for sore eyes, well, I
I tell Dimon to slow down, now we’ll go to meet them. Well we
we slow down and only I open my mouth to say something like
Your day has passed and I understand that this is a mother and daughter and there are no options here.
Dima finally lost his speech, so the first thing that came to my mind and I blurted out:
Excuse me, please, we are graduates of school 56, we have a meeting today, you
Would you happen to tell me where it is?....
There was a reunion of graduates at school, after which, of course, all our relatives
classmates went to continue celebrating this event away from school,
or rather, to a small bar :))) After copious libations, I return with
friend home. Friend, of course, as they say, drunk. Let's move on to the small one
path, but it should be noted that it was already late and there were basically no cars
We expected it, so we didn’t look around too much. So that's when
we were crossing, a car passes right in front of our noses, if we stop
made it in time. After some freaking out, “how good it is that we didn’t get hit
wheels" and all that, a friend says in a drunken voice: "but how did he sneak up,
infection" :)))))))
Website of the Higher School of Economics, report on the trip of the university delegation to
China. http://www.hse.ru/temp/2005/06_27_china.shtml
Quote: “Currently in the PRC the rural population is 80%. Of
of rural school graduates, 50% remain in rural areas, and 50% go to cities
(15% for work, 35% for continuing studies at universities)."
So understand, either 50% percent of Chinese graduates, having arrived in the city,
are homeless, or in “one of the leading universities in the country” things are bad
arithmetic.
Not long ago there was a solemn meeting of graduates of my native
academy. Ten years have passed since graduation, so let's go to the meeting
Most of the group had gathered. During the meeting it became clear that
the head of the group became the chief accountant of the company "****" known in
nationwide, which is developing software
software for accounting automation. To the question:
- How do you do your accounting?
The following response was received:
- We are a young, promising company... On 1C, of course.
(c) Sj aka Zheleznyakov Yu, tfutyk, Zheleznyakov Yu aka Sj
http://www.superjur.narod.ru/Text/afufla.htm
Setting: alumni meeting.
Time: yesterday
A classmate offers to look at a photo of her daughter.
My daughter is almost 20. I know her from the cradle. Clever beauty. But not for a couple of years
I saw it, it’s interesting to see the last photo.
Shows.
- Class! Just beautiful!
By mistake, a classmate took a package of tights out of her bag and I
looked at the corresponding picture of the lower half of some model.
In the USA, it is customary for school graduates before graduation, to say goodbye,
organize pranks so that graduates will be remembered for a long time. In past
year, for example, students from one of the local schools stole a model of an elephant,
erected on the roof of an Indian restaurant, and placed it at night in front of
the director's office, gluing his feet to the floor with epoxy. It took a long time to tear it off.
At the school where one of my acquaintances studied, the most legendary joke was
graduates of 1992: Three skunks purchased from
pet store, with tonsils removed, producing a pungent odor
(the administration, of course, did not know about this). Each one was painted white
numbers 1, 3 and 5 are drawn. Two weeks school administration and local
wildlife control organization to no avail
We were looking for skunks with numbers 2 and 4... Finally, one of the graduates took pity
above them and told them the secret of the joke.
When going to a meeting with classmates, each of us feels excited and it seems that there are so many words and wishes that we want to say to old friends and respected teachers that we don’t have to prepare specially: everything will be remembered and will tell itself. But it is this very excitement that can let you down at the most inopportune moment and in the end, apart from a couple of traditional phrases, nothing will come to mind, and then it can be a shame, because you so wanted to be on top and be remembered by your classmates as eloquent, witty and resourceful... .
To avoid this, we suggest taking with you a couple of poems, toasts (comic or lyrical) and written by real professionals in their field (thanks to the authors), which can help out and will certainly entertain and delight your classmates.
We offer toasts and table jokes for meeting with classmates:
1. A poem about the 80s - for meeting with classmates.
I wanted to go back to childhood, to the happy eighties,
Where it was so easy to live and sing, it seemed like forever!
Where is the New Year - the kindest holiday! He smelled like tangerines forever!
And every person was proud of his Soviet Country!
Where is the soda in the vending machines with one cup for everyone!
“The Irony of Fate” is in cinemas, there are no obstacles for kissing!
The ice cream cost pennies, and the popsicle - wow! Already twenty-two!
And a couple of lovers on a bench, they couldn’t have been happier on earth!
Where songs spilled out of open windows
About how “the maple tree makes noise, and about Alyoshka’s love.”
Where the world was woven from goodness and light... But where to find all this again?
I wanted to go back to my childhood again...But, as we know, there are no tickets there!
There is no way to get him back! And only in the soul - a distant warm light!..
(Source: inter-svadba.com)
2. A toast to school friendship.
You graduated from school a long time ago,
So we counted - ...... years...
The people are still cheerful
At least some are bald, and some are gray.
Still laughing loudly
Still full of hope
And the “girls” are charming,
And the “boys” are ready for battle.
We drink to victories, to accomplishments,
For the sun of our new days,
Let's drink to the fulfillment of desires,
For friendship - there is nothing more important!
(Source: coszosh.at.ua)
3. "Top class!"
Twenty years have passed now
From the prom
Both lucky and unlucky -
In a word, life was shaking.
Who is immersed in a career?
Someone writes books
Someone is happily in love
Who has children?
I'll raise a glass to you,
Let everything be top class!
(Source: vk.com)
4. Toast “Let’s drink to our old deeds!”"
If only there was time to see each other more often -
There would be reasons to drink a hundred times.
No time! For real friends
There is only one way out - to make up for everything now.
Glasses - higher! Closer snacks
Let's drink to our old affairs.
And we wish you, as usual, in Russian,
May our life be carefree!
(Source: znayka. net)
5. Welcome speech " Thirty years later"
Thirty years ago you stood the same way,
We held hands with excitement in our souls,
Before the big road of adult life
We dreamed and made plans.
You chose the path under sensitive guidance
Teachers, their parents.
We rushed into life, with a little regret
About school and about a desk for two.
And childhood passed away unnoticed
And it remained somewhere in the distance...
But you studied further and worked,
And you are already meeting families.
Now you have weaned your children,
After all, time does not stand still, it moves forward.
And the meeting of former schoolchildren, mind you,
Gives a boost of energy for many years!
6.
Life goes on in an endless circle.
It's like a train is moving faster and faster.
Where are you now, friends?
My Komsomol youth?
It's been so long since I've seen you!
Our paths did not cross.
Let's get together with old friends.
How much longer do we have to go alone?
Let's remember the class, tent summer,
And dates in the apple orchard.
The ship and the scarlet dawns...
Leningrad and swans in the pond.
Graduation... A cheerful, sad holiday.
And the teacher’s big order:
Having grown up, sometimes you, just once,
Take a look at your own, favorite class!
Let's remember how we were together, the whole horde
They escorted the boys to the Army.
Wishing to achieve military glory,
They were waiting for letters from their soldiers.
Gradually they scattered around the world.
The world has changed, it has become different.
Only greetings over the phone
To my gray-haired classmates.
We don't need sad dates,
To invite friends to the round table.
We have always been close.
Can we turn back time?
Years fly by and sometimes
Passing by, we won’t recognize
All our acquaintances, those close to us in soul.
Each one thinking about his own things.
So let's meet, guys!
And let's light our "Cool Light".
Let's remember all the things, events, dates,
Let's plunge into youth for an hour.
Having laid out family albums,
Let's drink sweet wine together.
Let it become our common home
The school class is the native side.
(Source: school23sochi.narod.ru)
7. Joke "Reaction after meeting classmates..."
Gray-haired people ate... Gray-haired people drank
And they remembered what they were like...
There are wrinkles on the foreheads... Sclerosis in the eyes
And the silent question excites:
"What has happened to us over the years?
And who are all these freaks around?
Are gray-haired women childhood friends?
And the grandfather opposite is the neighbor’s boy?”
Yes, life is not a picnic, but a complete picnic!
Life's waves are worse than a tsunami,
The lush roses have withered with time,
Why such wild metamorphoses??
When you've finished eating and drinking everything,
Then they howled at the top of their lungs...
And everyone thought: “GREAT GOD!!
Can it really be me... with such a face?
(Source: abc-fiesta.ru)
8. A joke about the Odnoklassniki website
My son came to me, a scoundrel,
And he asked sadly:
"Classmates, father -
What it is?
What kind of site is this?
Where are the gray-haired people
Giving up on real life,
Are they drowning in fornication?
Where the path to betrayal is visible,
The goal is clear and the means
Where do they want to return?
During Brezhnev's childhood?
Where is their peace disrupted?
Where do they spend their nights?
What kind of site is this?
Explain to me, father?"
I attracted my son to me
And he said with sadness:
"FSB database -
That's what we are!"
(Source: abc-fiesta.ru)
9. Joke "Meeting, years later."
A sketch about how classmates meet after different numbers of years can be used as a lead-in to a toast: “Let’s drink so that in 100 years we will be happy with each other, as in the first years after leaving school!”
When they meet in a year- kissing and hugging...
When they meet in five years- they hug and exclaim: “Bah, what people!!” and then they go somewhere together.
-After 10 years- they smile broadly and say: “How many years, how many winters!!!” and share news with interest
-In 20 years- they greet each other while running and say: “We need to get ready somehow,” and run away without agreeing on a meeting.
-After 30 years- they almost sincerely say: “You look great” and immediately start talking about their grandchildren. And
In 50 years- they open their eyes wide and in response to the greeting they ask: “Who are you?”
10. Dedication for the evening meeting.
February. Saturday.
A school that is familiar to us to tears.
Smiles. The joy of meeting
The motive is familiar. Bouquets of roses.
Memories. Conversations.
Exchange of business cards. Success.
And reconciliation of an old quarrel,
And children's laughter, as before.
Let's remember the frogs in milk
When things get hard for us.
Look, we'll jump out onto land,
And your soul will become light.
At school we were taught to think,
Prove. Even if he’s wrong.
We were taught to live as adults,
Which is not made from flowers and herbs.
Now the blizzards and blizzards have died down,
The snow melted away again.
And our souls also became warmer,
And familiar eyes met.
Yes, life threw us
Which is scary to even remember.
We lived sometimes rejoicing, sometimes loving.
But today, on this beautiful day
We met 30 years later!
Now they are sedate and important,
We have become more patient and wiser.
Forgetting about time, age and worries,
Let us remember the carefree days of school.
11. “School day routine” joke.
Dream. Alarm. Shower. Charger.
Breakfast. Tea. Briefcase. Notebook.
Shoes. Path. Crows. Check.
Being late. Fail.
Turn. Behavior.
Two. Head teacher Sadness.
Clarification. Call.
Running up the stairs. Lesson.
Numbers. Rules. Torment.
Light. Window. Dreams. Visions.
Verbal counting. Example. Board.
Multiplication. Yearning.
Two. Disappointment.
Perspective. Punishment.
Optimism. The fight against vice.
Jokes. Laughter. End of lessons!
House. One. Hooray! Toys.
Soup. Pancakes. Compote. Cheesecakes.
Rest. Cartoon program.
Telephone. Computer. Mother.
Meeting. Kiss. Diary.
Oh! Belt. Questions. Scream.
Excuses. Snot. Tears.
Exclamations. Threats.
Reconciliation. Textbook.
-Do it yourself! -Yes. Reshebnik.
Dinner. Bath. Relaxation.
Repeat tomorrow morning:
Dream. Alarm. Shower. Charger..
The selection is posted for your reference.